‘All kids with red hair get picked on you know’

My little one has a physical difference that in time we may have fixed with surgery. It’s not obvious, and even if it was, should it really matter?

I touched on this topic a little while ago in my blog post, ‘How to avoid the chocolate baby experience’. 

That was when this had been at the forefront of my mind, the topic of physical difference. I have known children that have been subjected to snide comments and unintended yet hurtful remarks for years, just because of how they look. Only days ago, a good friend of mine announced to me that her daughters first day at school was marred by such a comment, ‘all kids with red hair get picked on you know’. Now, I might be naive however, I was shocked to hear this as to me, the colour of your hair doesn’t define anything about you. In fact, I know plenty of successful people with red hair! I do wonder if and how taunts over the years affected them. 

So what about the children that have physical differences that you cannot ‘mask’ with hair dye. Not that you’d want to dye your child’s hair. There’s better, more effective ways to fight against bullies!

What about these kids?

Are they just supposed to go on through life hearing those taunts, letting each remark forever chip away at their self-esteem? How is this fair?

Or shall we, as parents, and as people, do something about it? Acceptance doesn’t cost a thing and it’s not a difficult attribute to teach a child. I hear all of the time, mothers saying that their child would never pick on their peers and how they’ve already ‘- taught their children right from wrong’. You know what though, parenthood is a work in progress.. We roll with the punches all day long, there’s no ‘finish line’ or box to tick as we instill each moral. We’re never done. I don’t know about you but I plan to be a mother for life. 

So back to my friend’s beautiful daughter. She is a free-spirited and intelligent young girl who knows that having red hair will never stand in her way. The reason she was able to overcome that day, is because she has a kind heart along with an open and free-thinking family who do not judge others. They’re honestly one of the kindest families I have ever met.

Will this little girl be bullied in the future?

Probably yes… And not just because of the colour of her hair.

I am hopeful that coupled with the assurance she receives from her parents and from the others that love her, along with her own sense of value within herself, bullies will only leave a tiny print on that already flourishing spirit of hers. Then someday, somehow, all of that will wash away and she’ll still be able to shine like she deserves.

Soon, I’ll be commencing a big campaign with a new team of people. It will be in honour of all children who have to walk through this world with a physical difference. I want these kids to never feel like they have to hide away as we all have something to contribute in this world.

One last note…I walked past a boy yesterday who would have been about 15 years old. He had what appeared to be a very large birthmark covering half his face. I can only imagine the taunts he has received in his life. Yet, what if he was the boy that would go on to cure a cancer?